I choose, to be a parent of principle! Parents should have a set of principles that provide guidance and direction when communicating with children. One primary goal of communication is the promotion of your child’s physical and moral development, which leads to a healthy child.
The bible is an excellent source of principles that can aid parents in developing healthy children through effective communication. Here we will speak to communication as a major social skill that engenders healthy relationships between parents and their children.
There are various negative methods of communication that parents use to convey their thoughts, feelings and emotions to their children, which create a negative environment. These methods utilize words that involve blaming, coercing, cursing, (spitefully) denying (your child wanted items), hitting, name-calling, swearing, threatening, and yelling to get them to do what is desired of them.
Usually these methods of negative communication are linked to disciplining a child. Often they are the regular patterns of the parent’s normal communication repertoire.
To improve the choices parents make, here are three biblical principles to use when it’s a necessity to communicate with your child but circumstance are potentially volatile.
Rule of Thumb
As a rule of thumb, it is imperative to remember that in every aspect of your life you model the behaviors your children will ingest. I Corinthians 15:33 offers guidance for setting the framework for communicating with your child. It is vital to remember that one’s facial expression and attitude set the mood for the conversation.
The principle here implies that evil intentions, i.e. words of blame, coercion or threatening, can corrupt good manners, i.e., the willingness to respond back with either positive words or emotions.
Do not confuse responsibility with authority. A parent is responsible to discipline a child so that they may learn to make a better choice in the future. But the parent should not use their authority to spitefully hand out punishment, especially using harsh words, because it can lead to a difficult relationship in the future.
Guard Your Thoughts and Words
Parents are often pointing out the fact that their child has made a grievous error in their judgment. It is not wrong for a parent to point out their child’s error, but it's how the error is pointed out. Proverbs 15:1 gives direction on how to use the second principle to keep a healthy relationship from going bad.
Conversations are designed as a two-way dialogue. The guiding element of this proverb is to help parents, as well as children, to dialogue with words that engender respect for one another. The warning is to use your vocabulary of words that convey the seriousness of the situation but not to provoke negative feelings.
Parents should not use their position of authority as a soapbox to berate the child for their mistake.
Use Teachable Moments
One of the greatest points to remember in parenting is you are a central figure in your child’s life. The biblical principle here relates to the role of a parent as the teacher.
Deuteronomy 6:8-9 gives the guiding force for parents to head off trouble in the future by instilling profound principles in the child to carry them through life. In every step your child takes in life it is a teachable moment. Parents ought to take both the special moments of achievement and moments of great challenge, in their child’s life, and teach them that it has meaning.
A teachable moment can occur at anytime and anywhere. A parent has to be ready to share guidance that helps their child to learn from the experience for future reference.
Source:
The Holy Bible, retrieved from www. biblegateway.com/passage/?search
Samuel Means - Samuel Means is pastor and counselor who works toward helping families find the resources they need to build strong positive ...
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