Does your child act out in unusually negative behavior? The origin of a child’s undesirable behavior can often be linked to a parent’s or caregiver’s lack of providing consistency and normalcy in meeting a child’s emotional, physical and social needs.
Consistency and Normalcy in Parenting
The challenge in raising young children with negative behaviors is twofold: the manner in which they express their motivational drive to have their needs met and their articulation of not having their needs met. The caveat for parents meeting the needs of their children can find its origin in two primary parenting skills: consistency and normalcy.
The Parenting Skill of Consistency
The parenting skill of consistency has many profound elements that may lead to negative behavior in children. The first is the provision of a stable living environment such as fulfilling the primary physiological need of health and hunger, i.e., food, clothing and shelter. A child perceives changes in their environment vastly different than adults and may internally believe that a catastrophe has occurred in their life.
In the field of counseling the effect of changes in a child’s environment is not limited to just a lack of food, clothing and shelter. The impact of the a parent changing jobs, frequently changing residences and having multiple dysfunctional personal relationships (i.e., divorce and breakup) can contribute to children exhibitng negative behavior.
These economic issues can be traumatic to adults from an adult perspective but it is often forgotten that children do not have the same knowledge base to always act in a socially, morally and ethically appropriate manner.
The parenting skill of consistency is one where the adult will attempt to continue to provide the child with emotional support, a secure sense of love, affection and belonging, while providing for their physiological and safety needs.
The Parenting Skill of Normalcy
The parenting skill of normalcy is establishing a pattern of social interaction with the child that they can use throughout their lifetime. Parents are the catalyst that provides the basis for what is to be considered normal in their home life.
Creating, maintaining and exhibiting desirable patterns of behavior, such as, using appropriate language and social manners in the home environment and community, is in large a modeling behavior by parents. The modeling of behavior can include how one is to conduct themselves in a moment of crisis through the transfer of desirable psychological traits and characteristics.
Two final elements to help reduce, to change or to stop negative behavior, in adults or children are: establish an environment that provides opportunities for personal growth and provide plausible connections between the family and the community.
With whatever means you may have, in this changing economy, establish opportunities where you look to safeguard the emotional, mental and psychological development of your child. Search opportunities and resources that will enhance their current development and future prospects. For example, if your child has not developed reading skills by the time they are school age, unearth the reasons and find out why.
It may not seem important or a need since their physiological and safety needs are met. But it will impact the need for belonging, esteem and self-actualization in years to come. Again, parents set the standard for what is the norm for yourself and your children. There are certain skills that help link each of us to the larger community as a whole.
Providing a plausible connection to the idea of family and community can create a sense of well being that translate into positive social behavior. The ultimate goal of parenting is to raise children that become well adjusted members of society. By establishing what is normal for your family you provide a point of reference for your children to navigate through their drives to meet their needs.
Source:
Abraham Maslow. 1943. A Theory of Human Motivation. Psychological Review. Vol. 50(4). pp 370-396. Retrieved from http://psychclassics.yorku.ca/Maslow/motivation
Samuel Means - Samuel Means is pastor and counselor who works toward helping families find the resources they need to build strong positive ...
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